Crona's Gender
by Bloody Simpson Chibi
Summary: Is Crona a boy or a girl? This is the mystery the gang aim to solve, no matter how much pain, heartache and embarrassment it cost. Rated T
1. Chapter 1

**Crona's Gender**

**by BloodySimpsonChibi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater**

**Chapter 1: Gender Confusion**

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and the whole gang were hanging out at Soul and Maka's house. Soul and Black Star were playing video games while Liz watched, Maka and Tsubaki were in the kitchen making snacks for everyone, Patty was messing around in a coloring book and Kid was snooping around the house looking for any asymmetrical mess to straighten out.

"Come on...no...no..No!" Soul shouted as Black Star beat him for the 15th time. "Sorry Soul." He teased. "I'm just too good to lose."

"Shut up!" Soul shouted. "One more time! I swear I'll beat you!" Black Star just shook his head. "Kids just never learn. But alright." Soul and Black Star began a new game just as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Liz said as she walked toward the door. She opened it and on the other side was Crona, who had a small bag.

"Hey Crona." Liz greeted. "What's up?"

"Lord Death told me to drop off this." Crona said pointing to the bag. "It's for Kid."

"This must be his infinity figure." Liz mused. She reached into the bag and sure enough, she pulled out a small metal figure of the infinity symbol. It helped to calm Kid down if he saw too much asymmetry.

"Thanks Crona." Liz chirped. Crona blushed slightly at Liz's smile and turned away. "G-Goodbye." With that, he left.

Liz closed the door and approached Kid who was burrowing under the couch.

"Kid!" Liz kicked him in the butt.

"Ow! What the hell Liz?" He climbed out from under the couch.

"Your comfort toy." She presented him the infinity symbol. Kid yanked it out of her hand.

"It's not an comfort toy. It is a stress-relieving therapy object and I would appreciate if you addressed it as such."

Liz rolled her eyes and went back to watching Soul and Black Star play their game. Soul was on the floor having a panic attack while Black Star cheered. "16 times in a row! Undefeated!"

"Good for you Black Star." Liz stated.

"Hey guys! We got the snacks!" Maka and Tsubaki come out of the kitchen with nachos for everybody. The smell of melted cheese and salted meat revived Soul form his stupor.

"By the way, Maka turned to Liza as she gave a plate of nachos to Patty. "Who was at the door?"

"Crona." Liz replied. "Lord Death sent her to give Kid his comfort to-"

Kid growled.

"Therapy object." Liz moaned. "After she gave me the figure, she got a little embarrassed and left in a hurry. So cute!"

"I think Crona has a crush on you." Tsubaki teased.

"I hope not. I mean I have nothing against gay people but you guys know I'm straight. I would hate to have break Crona's heart."

"What are you talking about?" Soul muttered with a mouth full of nachos. "Corna's not gay"

"What makes you say that?" Maka asked angrily

"Because he's guy." Sou said with a as-a-matter-of fact tone.

"What?" Tsubaki cried. "No she's not. Crona's a girl!"

"Nah." Black Star butted in. "Crona's too ugly to be a girl so he has to be a boy."

"That's stupid." Liz growled before turning to Kid. "Kid, what do you think Crona is?"

Kid looked up from his plate of symmetrical nachos. "Crona's obviously a boy. Otherwise the balance of our group is asymmetrical."

"What?" Everyone said in unison.

"With Crona included in our group, there are a total of eight people. Eight divided by two is four so to make our group perfect, we need to be comprised of four boys and four girls. The girls are Maka, Tsubaki, Liz, and Patty and the boys are me, Soul, Black Star and Crona."

Liz started strangling Kid. "Your reasoning is even more stupid than Black Star's!" She yelled.

"Well I say Crona's a girl." Patty injected herself into the conversation. "She wears a dress so she's a girl."

"She's got you there boys." Maka beamed. "Why would Crona wear a dress if she wasn't a girl?"

"Oh please." Soul groaned. "That's not a dress. It's a robe. Crona's a guy."

The group continued to bicker about Crona's gender until Soul thought of something.

"I have an idea." He exclaimed. "Let's just find out Crona's real gender."

"How?" Patty asked.

"We'll follow him around. At some point he's gotta do something that will prove he's a boy."

"You guys sure seem sure of yourselves." Liz stated. "Care to put a wager on it?"

"What do you mean?" Black Star prodded.

"If Crona turns out to be a boy, we girls have to do whatever you say for a whole day."

"A whole day?" Soul asked.

"Whatever we say?" Black Star added. Both boys became red in the face and started drooling at the thought of what they would have the girl do, much to the girls disgust.

"But if we prove Crona's a girl." Liz continued. "You have to do whatever we say for a whole day."

Maka and Tsubaki smiled at that.

"It's a deal!" Sou shouted. The group put all there hand together in a circle and on the count of 3, the shot them back up.

"But how are follow Crona around without her noticing?" Patty asked again."

"Don't worry." Soul smiled. "I got just the plan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: The Bathroom.**

The next day, Maka and Soul hatched a plan with the rest of the group before school started. Black Star and Tsubaki headed toward Professor Stein's office. As the entered the room, they spotted him trying to cut open a sentient teddy bear.

"Can I help you?" He muttered calmly.

While Tsubaki was shaking from fear, Black Star went straight to the point. " We need laxative." He declared. "You got any?"

"Sure." Stein said without missing a beat and tossed Black Star a vile of purple liquid.

"A-Aren't you gonna ask why we want la-laxative?"

"I'm a little preoccupied at the moment." Stein said as he turned back to where the teddy bear was. "Where did the bear go?"

The bear darted out form under Stein's desk and into the school hallway. "Excuse me." Stein said as he chased after it on his chair.

"Stage 1 complete! Black Star shouted.

* * *

"Did you get the laxative Black Star?" Soul asked over the walkie-talkie.

"Yep!" You and Maka in your places?"

"Yep!" Soul and Maka were standing in front of the boys and girls bathroom respectfully. They high-fived each other and went inside the bathrooms.

"Me and Maka are in place." Soul said into the Walkie-Talkie.

"Understood." Kid, Liz, and Patty were standing outside the cafeteria watching Crona, who was eating some soup alone. Black Star and Tsubaki walked down the hall towards Kid and placed the vile in his hands.

Kid gave Black Star a thumbs up and entered the cafeteria toward Crona.

"Greetings Crona!" Kid said.

"Oh...uh hello." Crona muttered.

"Say, is that Medusa looking at you from over there?" Kid asked as he gestured behind Crona.

"What!? Where!?" A panicked Crona looked desperately around for his abuser but couldn't find her. As he did so, Kid emptied the vile into his soup.

"Oops. My mistake. Just a trick of the light" Kid said. "Well good day!"

"G-Good day to you too." Crona replied feebly but Kid was already gone. Crona shrugged his shoulders and continued eating.

As he left the cafeteria, Kid hi-fived Black Star and turned on the Walkie-Talkie.

"Water is in the tea pot. I repeat, water is in the tea pot."

Soul grimaced. "Why'd the code have to be something uncool like that." Then he smiled. "Whatever, now we wait."

Crona suddenly began feeling queasy."

"I don't know how to deal with this!" Crona exclaimed as he ran off towards the nearest restrooms, the ones Soul and Maka were waiting in.

"The bluebird has left the nest." Black Star whispered into the Walkie-Talkie.

"Here it comes." Maka beamed in excitement.

Crona soon stood in front of the two bathrooms.

"Now choose.." Soul said, sensing Crona from the outside.

Before Crona could choose a bathroom, the bear from Stein's ran between Crona's legs. Crona yelp in fear and jumped back, right into Stein who was chasing after the bear on his chair. The impact sent both the black-blooded child and the insane professor down a nearby flight of stairs. The sound of the crash was heard by Soul and Maka who ran out of the bathrooms to check things out.

"We heard a noise." Black Star said through the Walkie-Talkie, what's going on?"

"Bad news Black Star." Soul grunted. "Stein crashed into Crona just before he could use a restroom."

"She" Maka stated flatly, earning a eye roll from Soul."

"Great." Kid whined. "How could this get any worse?"

"Crona doesn't have to use the restroom anymore." Maka said in disgust.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Pokemon**

A week after the shameful event down the halls, Crona finally felt like returning to school. As he approached the entrance, he found Soul and Maka waiting for him. He immediately started sweating.

"Hey Crona!" Maka greeted. 'How are you today!?"

"F-F-Fine." Crona muttered.

Soul seemed to be annoying the two, playing on his DS. In reality, he was waiting for Crona to glance in his direction which Crona did.

"W-What are you doing Soul?" Crona asked.

"Me? Oh I'm just playing this great new game called Pokemon."

"Pokemon?"

"Yeah it's cool. You catch these animals and things and then you make them fight. "Wanna try?"

"I don't think I could deal with it."

"Oh come on!" Soul shoved the game into Crona's hands. "I started a new game just for you."

"Well, ok."

Crona started up the game and was soon met with the face of Professor Oak.

"Welcome to the world of Pokemon!" Oak said. "Before we begin, tell me about yourself. Are you a boy or a girl?" A text box containing both choices popped up besides Oak. Crona sweatdropped.

"We got him!" Soul thought triumphantly.

"We got her!" Maka thought triumphantly.

Just then, Ragnarok popped out of Crona's back.

"What are you playing?" He demanded.

"P-P-Pokemon." Crona answered.

"Let me play!" Ragnarok tried wrestling the game away from Crona.

"Let go! Come on!" Ragnarok yelled.

"I don't know how to deal with this!" Crona shouted.

Maka and Soul both tried to save Crona at the exact same time which resulted in them accidentally pushing Crona down the stairs leading up to the school entrance. The black-blooded child continued to tumble down the stairs until said child landed on the last step with a sickening splat.

Soul and Maka winced. "He's gonna need more than a few stitches."

**(Short chapter I know. Really sorry! Couldn't think of anyway to extend it.)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Hot Spring (Prologue)**

The gang were sitting in Soul and Maka's living room, utterly defeated. Everything they've tried to uncover Crona's gender has failed and to top it off, the failed attempts have left Crona too afraid to even come near the gang.

"This sucks." Black Star sighed.

"You said it." Soul agreed as he turned to Maka. "So what do we do now?"

"Give up I guess." Maka groaned. "Crona won't even come anywhere near us now so what can we even do?"

"Fair point." Liz agreed. She turned to Patty who was reading a magazine. One of the advertisements caught her eye.

"Hold up!"

Liz ripped the magazine out of Patty's hand.

"Hey!"

"Check this out!" Liz beamed. "New Hot Spring opening this weekend in eastern Death City. All ages welcome! Baths are separated!"

"So?" Soul hissed.

"Guys! If we can get Crona to come to the hot springs with us, She'll have to pick which side to go to!"

"He." Kid corrected.

"I see what your saying!" Tsubaki chirped. "If we could somehow convince Crona to come to the hot spring, there's no way she'll be able to hide her gender!"

"He." Black Star corrected.

"You...just repeated everything I said." Liz said.

"That makes sense in theory." Maka added. "But how are we gonna get Crona to come? She's too scared to even come close to us."

"He." Soul butted in.

"SHUT UP!" All four girls roared in unison, earning several sweatdrops and tight lips from the boys.

"Oh Oh!" Patty waved her hands ecstatically. "Crona has a crush on Liz right!?" She should ask Crona out to the spring!"

The idea made everyone blush with Liz getting the worst of it.

"M...Me?" Liz asked shakily pointing to herself. Her oblivious sister just smiled and nodded.

"Come on Liz." Maka beamed. "If anyone could get Crona to go to the hot springs, it's definitely you!"

Liz sighed heavily but then smiled. "Okay."

* * *

Crona looked around the hall to make sure nobody was around. It had been a rather painful and humiliating week for the violet haired Soul Meister and Crona really didn't want anymore attention.

The Black-blooded child opened the locker and got out some text books. As Crona closed it, the Soul Meister was startled to see Liz waiting behind it.

"Sup Crona." She greeted cheerfully.

"Liz!"

"Hey Crona." Liz began. "I know this is out of the blue but would you like to go to the hot spring with us this weekend?"

Crona's face turned as red as a apple. "WH-Wh What?"

"Would you like to come with me and my friends to the new hot springs this weekend?" Liz reinstated.

"I-I don't know if I can deal with this."

"Please!" Liz pleaded. "They say it's bad luck to go to a hot spring with an odd number of people." This was a lie but Liz hoped Crona wouldn't know that.

"Well.."

Just then Ragnarok popped out of Crona's back. "You're damn right we're going! I wanna see some naked chicks!"

"Stop Ragnarok!" Crona demanded as Ragnarok started grabbing the Soul Miester's face.

Liz could only watch helplessly at the carnage.

"Ok! Ok!" I'll go with you!" Crona shouted.

"Great see you on Saturday!" Liz chirped and then she walked away.

"Like taking candy from a baby."

**(Hey guys! Sorry for the wait. Will try to finish this story this year as well as a few others.)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Hot Spring (Part 1)**

The day had arrived the group, including Crona, made their way to the hot springs.

"I can't wait to soak my stress away!" Liz exclaimed.

"Yeah. Hot springs are cool." Soul wasn't really paying too much attention to Liz. He was too focused on whether or not Crona really was a boy. He had made a bet with Maka on what tonight's outcome will be. $50 was at stake.

"Okay. I guess we should head right in." Maka suggested.

"Um, can I go to the bathroom real quick?" Crona asked sheepishly.

"Of course."

As the black-blooded soul meister went to answer nature's call, the gang split up and soon both parties were in their respective springs. Soul, Black Star and Kid on one side of the fence and Maka, Tsubaki, Liz and Patty on the other. The idea was to wait for Crona to arrive in either one of the springs and that would finally solve the mystery of their gender.

"So what do we do while we wait for Crona?" Black Star asked.

"I dunno. Just soak?" Soul actually had his eyes closed and really was trying to enjoy the water but Kid's obsessive counting was annoying him.

"...21..22...23"

"Will you shut up!"

"There's 23 boards making up the wall! There should be 24 or at least 22!"

"Shut it!"

* * *

The boys waited for 30 minutes about Crona never came.

"I guess Crona really was a girl." Soul hung his head low in defeat. "Goodbye only money I had in my wallet."

"This isn't good!" Kid cried. "If Crona's a girl, then this throws off our group's gender balance completely! We need two more guys!"

"So Crona's a girl huh?" A mischievous smile appeared on his face as climbed out of the spring and began climbing the wall.

"What are you doing Black Star!?" Soul asked.

"Since Crona's a girl, that mean she's gotta have boobs! I'm gonna take a peek!"

"Stop that at once!" Kid spat out but the last of the Star clan ignored his call and continued to climb up.

"That moron!" Soul hissed.

Black Star made it to the top and no sooner had he looked over to the girl's side Tsubaki had thrown a shuriken into his head for his troubles. The assassin wannabe fell back into the spring, turning the water red with his blood.

"Nice one!" Soul laughed. He expected Black Star to come up and attack him for that remark but instead Black Star just stood silent.

"What's wrong?" Kid asked.

"Crona isn't with the girls either." Black Star stated.

"What?" Soul and Kid shouted in unison.

"It's true. It's just the girls."

Soul climbed out of the water and knocked on the fence.

"Go away Soul!" Maka demanded. "If you try to peep, you're getting a Maka chop to the face."

"Black Star said Crona wasn't with you. Is that true?"

There was a pause.

"Crona's...not with you guys?" Maka finally asked.

"Nope. We thought he was with you."

"She."

"Whatever."

"That's strange." Maka mused. "If Crona's not with you or us...

The two groups agreed to meet in the hallways after getting dressed. Once joined together, the gang looked high and low for Crona but couldn't find any trace of the violet-haired person.

"Crona! Crona where are you!" Patty called out.

"Hey guys!" Black Star called out. "Over here!" He was pointing to a empty rec room. The gang rushed in to peer inside and saw Crona in a towel struggling with Ragnarok.

"Hurry up and get to the naked chicks!" The demon demanded.

"You know I can't!" Crona cried.

"Crona? What's going on?" Maka asked as Black Star marched up to the two.

"Okay! Spill it Crona! Are you a boy or a girl!?"

"SO DIRECT!" The whole group shouted.

"I...I...I can't deal with this!"

and that's when Ragnarok ripped off the towel...


End file.
